A Clean Song
(note: this is not a Civil War period song)

There was a young sailor who looked through the glass,
And spied a fair mermaid with scales on her . . . island
Where seagulls fly over their nests
She combed the long hair that hung over her . . . shoulder
And caused her to tickle and itch
The sailor cried out, "There’s a beautiful . .. mermaid
A-sitting out there on the rocks!"
The crew come a-running all grabbing their . . . glasses
And crowded their feet to the rail
The better to share in this fine piece of . . . news
Which the captain soon heard from the watch
He tied down the wheel and he reached for his . . . crackers and cheese
Which he kept near the door
In case he might someday encounter a . . . mermaid
He knew he must use all his wits,
Crying, "Throw out a line and we’ll lasso her . . . flippers,
And then we will certainly find
If mermaids are better before or . . . be brave!
My good fellows," the captain then said,
"With fortune we’ll break through her mermaiden . . . heading to
Starboard they tacked with dispatch,
Caught that fair mermaid right under her . . . elbows
And hustled her down below decks
Each took a turn at her feminine . . . setting
Her free at the end of the mass
She splashed in the waves, landing flat on her . . . after
Awhile one man noticed some scabs
Soon they broke out with the pox and the . . . scratching
Was furious, the cursing was mean
This song may be dull, but it’s certainly . . . clean!

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